Milla Venus

::BOOSTING METABOLISM:: Eat enough Breakfast Drink Coffee/Tea Drink enough water Milk Fiber  Oat Kelapa Pear Broccoli Bendi Labu Carrot Kacang Kuda Bayam Protein Seafood Milk Cheese Yogurt Egg Soya Daging (Lembu) Ayam Sotong Talapia Ikan bilis Sardin Peanut butter Tahu Iron Hati (lembu) Daging (lembu) Dark chocolate Bayam Sardin Pistachios Kismis Vit. D Sardin Salmon Ikan Kembong Tuna Milk Egg Mushrooms Semoga berjaya :D

I tend to forget things that make me upset. I don't want to remember things that can make me dull. It works. Fine. At first. But when things get hard, or as time fly by it came hunting me back. Yes, I don't remember what makes me upset. However it does not make me not upset to a person who causes it. & what makes it become more frustrating? I don't have an explaination to my feeling (sad/dissapointed/anger) towards a person & that makes me feel bad about myself. So as I sit alone, wondering why I feel such, then only I recalled things, issues that I erase/ignore. Then it makes me feel slighly better. But. I. Need. More. I need to solve it. Not just knowing. I need the apology I never get. I need to sooth this anger. I need to forgive, but to forgive I need an apology. A simple "sorry for ......(things said & done)" would be enough. I need it. I freakin' need it because without it, my brain would have forget but not my heart. But it was 5 years ago....

It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to have doubt. It's okay to run. Any healthy minded person would run away. Not just you. It's fine. I'm fine. I 've not experienced this feeling for such a long time. At least now i know that i'm capable of love. I don't hate you & i wont. It was a sweet 3 weeks for me. Thank you for stopping by. I wish you best of luck in finding someone who can truly loves you back.

I'm trying to be a better person, a better friend. So i kinda need new environment. Sorry to those who feel like i've neglected them. I'm not. I really not. But i need space & in that space i don't need you. Kahkah. Sound so cruel to me but... Really. Please. Just let me. I'll be involving myself with you real soon. As soon as i get all the time & space i needed. Thanks. Luv ya. 😘 #muahciked

Assalamualaikum. Hye.  I can't sleep so here i am. Feel like writing something. Maybe my head just can't bear too much if everything, so... Yeah. I'm writing out some so it could leave my head. I used to think that money is everything. You can even buy happiness with money. Well, it's still true that money actually do buy you happiness. I mean, how can you be happy not having a place to sleep, nice meals to eat & you know. Stuff like that. Haha. But... I've came to realize that money is not everything. Thanks to a friend whom i always said I'm a materialistic lady & treated me like one by kept buying me stuff that i don't even ask. Haha. It make me sick. I mean seriously. It does make me sick; Receiving lots of stuff i don't even need. Well, i won't blame anyone for thinking that i'm materialistic because I do. Sometimes. But. Idk anymore. I always talk about marrying a rich guy, & big houses & money & stuff. But. But... I fin...

Semalam (16/1/2015) adalah satu hari yang begitu mengujakan bagi aku sebab... Finally aku boleh bangun tidur tanpa berfikir pasal uitm. Wohoo! Dan aku juga dah beli phone baru. Right after my last final exam paper (15/1/2015, Thu) Hehe. Sebab... Seriously, you would do the same if you were me. Hari last final, kau ada duit, dan handphone kau dah rosak. Screen retak, memory card damaged, main camera undetected. Siapa yang nak pakai handphone macam tu? Well, sebenarnya ada. Aku. Semenjak 3 bulan lepas. Desperate me. Haha. Tapi alhamdulillah, duit JPA dah masuk. Tu yang senang sikit hidup tu. Nak beli apa pon boleh. Harap2 aku tak membazir lah 😅 But yesterday was not a perfect day pon. Nothing exciting really happen. Cuma... Iyelah, i'm excited about the gathering je. Last minute planning actually. Baru start suggest masa budak ai habis final exam, and tiba2 je nak buat keesokan harinya. Itu pun baru confirmkan semalam, 2 jam sebelum masanya.  Kitorang plan nak jumpa kat Pizza Hut se...

As expected. Can't sleep. Didn't sleep.

I must sleep. But i will not can sleep. Hmmmacam salah je. Haha. Lantak ah.

Weh, malasnya aku nak blajo. Padahal esok satu paper je lagi. Tambahan pula, BR1M dah masuk 😁 Hmm... apa kata keluar beli jacket baru jap. Pastu baru semangat nak study. Hehe 👿

Actually saya ada masalah tak boleh tidur pada waktu malam sebelum exam. Sebelum paper ISE, saya tak tidur.lepas je balik rumah lepas exam ISE, Amekkau. Tidur sampai pukul 12 mlm. (Dari pukul 1.30ptg) & then here i am. Wide awake. 😂

Oh yes, I am. How else are you going to buy a house? Because they say happiness started with home.

It's only 5th day of 2015, && i've been saying curse word more than last year's total count of curse words usage.

Lambat gak aku buat entry ni. Hahaha. Nak buat cemana, baru ada idea nak berazam apa. 1) Saya akan belajar masak & merajinkan diri untuk masak untuk diri sendiri 2) saya akan sentiasa berusaha untuk meningkatkan & mengekalkan CGPA & GPA. Dah macam ikrar pelajar masa sekolah je. Haha. Ok. Itu je. Kalau ada lagi nanti gwa tambah ah. K bye.

The more you brag about him, the more i wanted to snach him. I can't help it . It's a natural instict of a single lady. Don't make me. Stop encouraging me, miss.

Honestly, yes... I'm waiting for your text. I want that happy feeling of getting a text from you. Like... when i looked at my phone, i'll be like... "Oh, look who texted me" "Aww~ that is so sweet of you" With a smile (honest one. The type that came from heart) on my face. & then i'll put my phone away & continue doing whatever i'm doing at the moment. But with a sincere smile on my face. & a very happy feeling. & satisfied. That is actually a charity you can do for me. Pls texted me. & pls do not expect any reply. Just... text me something sweet.

Aku takde abang. Ada adik lelaki pon, beza umur jauh. Macam... aku yang patut jaga dia. Bukan dia jaga aku. Jadi... aku tak setuju bila orang kata "kalau pergi jalan jauh, kena ada lelaki teman". Eww. Why be so depending? &&, what makes you feel safe around a guy? What if that guy you're walking with is a bad guy? Aku lahir dalam keluarga yang majoriti perempuan. Aku dah di didik supaya pandai jaga diri sendiri. My brain is programmed to not easily trust. &&, aku juga dah belajar sendiri betapa manis mulut manusia, hanya akan menghancurkan kita. Aku tak perlukan lelaki untuk bantu aku. I can help myself.

I'm blessed, and I'm happy with my life. Probably happier than you imagine I am. Aku ada seorang kakak yang selalu jadi penasihat. Aku ada 3 orang dayang dan seorang body guard. #eh bukan. 3 orang adik perempuan dan seorang adik lelaki. Aku ada soulmate. Aku ada best buddies. Don't ask me. I don't know how I can have a besties. I have friends that I would like to call my BFF. They are super nice. The thing is... I don't deserve to be their BFF. I mean... I'm a terrible person. A terrible friend. I don't understand why on earth are they still talking to me. If I were them, I wouldn't talk to myself. Most people say I'm smart. sometimes I think I am. But most of the times, I don't. I'm just lucky. These are only part of list. I am very lucky. VERY. Alhamdulillah. :)

my life is hard. but I know, there are a lot of other people whose life is harder. that is why I'm trying my best not to complain. especially in front of my parents. I know they are giving us the best they can. even sometimes, it is not enough pernah, beras tinggal sikit. so, masak apa yang ada je. my mom dah asingkan bahagian ayah siap2. kitorg pulak, kebulur semacam hari tu. berebut nak makan. ayah baru balik, dia tahu tak cukup, dia bagi bahagian dia kat kitorg. padahal dia baru balik kerja. penat. kitorg duduk rumah tengok TV, tinggikan bil elektrik bulanan je. every year, balik kampung. 2 orang kena naik bas. Sbb sempit. masa beraya ke rumah makcik2, ayat yang sama kedengaran "alaa~ kesiannya~ 8 orang dlm satu kereta. tak sempit ke?" eyy, soalan bangang apakah ini? MESTILAH SEMPIT! KERETA PERSONA! kau ingat aku suka ke macam tu? kau ingat aku happy dapat makan bahagian ayah aku? kau ingat aku suka ke aku kenyang, ayah aku lapar? kau ingat aku suka? kau ingat ...

Tadi aku tengok berita. Tunjuk la rakyat2 negara luar termasuk Eropah buat demonstrasi depan kedutaan Israel negara masing-masing. Lepas tu, kedengaran persoalan "Malaysia takde ke?"        Di internet semua orang kondem negara-negara Arab, tak bersatu untuk halau Israel. Padahal kalau dorang semua bersatu, dah lama Palestin boleh bebas. Blehblehbleh. Itu je ke yang kita boleh buat? Tuding jari? Apa sumbangan kita untuk Palestin? Aku bukan nak kondem orang lain. Aku pon, selalu terlupa nak doakan Palestin. Korang tahu kat mana salahnya? Senang je jawapannya ; sebab tak bersatu. Kenapa tak bersatu? Ini pendapat aku la ye? Aku rasa... Sebabnya ialah kita tak solat cara yang betul. 1) kita tak pergi solat fardhu jemaah. *kalau kita meremehkan solat berjemaah, Allah akan pecah belahkan kesatuan kita. maaf, aku tak ingat sumber ilmu ini. Tapi aku pasti akan kesahihannya. refer ke zaman pemerintahan Rasulullah, mereka semua rajin ke masjid unt...