Memories & Emotional bond
I tend to forget things that make me upset. I don't want to remember things that can make me dull. It works. Fine. At first. But when things get hard, or as time fly by it came hunting me back. Yes, I don't remember what makes me upset. However it does not make me not upset to a person who causes it. & what makes it become more frustrating? I don't have an explaination to my feeling (sad/dissapointed/anger) towards a person & that makes me feel bad about myself. So as I sit alone, wondering why I feel such, then only I recalled things, issues that I erase/ignore. Then it makes me feel slighly better. But. I. Need. More. I need to solve it. Not just knowing. I need the apology I never get. I need to sooth this anger. I need to forgive, but to forgive I need an apology. A simple "sorry for ......(things said & done)" would be enough. I need it. I freakin' need it because without it, my brain would have forget but not my heart. But it was 5 years ago.